Author: Scott » Published On: December 3rd, 2016 » Filed In: podcast » Comments: (1)

Scott, The Steward, Nena, Glenn, Laura Smith, Steph, Ali (!) and MORE all chime in on this year’s first annual post-SC bar-style free for all. Most of the big week 16 developments are discussed! Have a listen! Happy breeding.

Author: Scott » Published On: November 30th, 2016 » Filed In: podcast » Comments: (0)

I think we can get through the juvy races quick, like 5 mins each. The big races are both stacked. Have either of you won an SC race yet this week?

F+M Juvy
Norman’s horse ran a crazy race monday. Doubt this race will go faster.
9 entries, 6 steward breds. Dumb.
Precious has the highest speed figure with a 90
Go Ash Go! Also lease me that late
How impressed are we? The field is very evenly matched. Not the strongest year.

This race is fucking bananas
All steward breds. That’s kind of poop.
None of these horses has ever finished worse than second.
⅚ have a top speed figure of 89. The 6th, Creed, has a top of 88.
Every horse in here is a future stud, 100%

F+M Turf Mile
Ash is not going to talk about Theme Park
Still a ton of Steward Breds. I’m not helping her breed anymore lol
Rose has a horse but she’s only running because it’s her last race
There is a bunch of speed. Best There Was, Front Page Star, Hello Sweetie, How the Story End, Willing to Burn and With the Twilight like the lead. Fun.

Turf Mile
Rose is going to cry a lot
Dandy Lion scares me
Distant Dream v Memo match up, only someone can beat these two for sure. It’s a nice field. Although Jurassic World is ???
I like your horse Nena. Run him in the Pegasus?
Famousaer looks good. How do you pronounce that?
Rose think Make My Own Path should have run here. Same for a horse named Let it Die. Ash is allowed to skip because her horse is 3 😉

Birthday Candles stakes looks really nice.

Author: Scott » Published On: November 18th, 2016 » Filed In: podcast » Comments: (0)


Hi everyone! Ready for the Steward Emily Shields to answer YOUR questions? Here they are! Everything from fitness to soundness to gallops and other nonsense! Enjoy! Also, Em cries about the state of her limbs.

Author: Scott » Published On: November 16th, 2016 » Filed In: podcast » Comments: (0)


Scott discusses Week 14 with a returning Cleo Patra/Hannah Phillips. They discuss the Arc, the Long Island Gold Cup, a duel in California, and other stuff. Cleo has a special challenge for Scott! Have a listen!

Author: Scott » Published On: November 9th, 2016 » Filed In: podcast » Comments: (0)

Where have you gone, Mr Awesome? Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you
—- Paul Simon, probably

Scott decides to podcast instead of following the US Election returns, and taps his good friend Laura Smith of Canada to assist. Our heroes discuss Gryffindor’s history-making win in Saratoga, the psychology of being Captain My Captain’s owner, more turf route races than Laura’s comfortable with, and much more.


Scott apologizes for not including Laura in the Nathan intro, offers to earn his MR AWESOME nickname given to him by his fans, not himself, no matter what Ashley and Nena say
Ashley and Nena are both on assignment/in the penalty box

Stakes Wrap: Week 12
Gryffindor wins the Midsummer Classic, becoming the first Derby winner since Ball of Fire to also win in Saratoga.

James Dean wins the Oceanside Classic.  I hate my barn.
Dream wins the Midsummer Oaks one of the few 10 furlong major filly races.
Space beats Forgot in the 500k Worldwide Stakes in jolly ol england
Titanic is good.
Westley loses when i say he’ll win
OK, guess we have to pronounce “Delahoussaye”
Mickey Mouse doesn’t hit the board. James Selby has a horse that makes the show!
D’s Friday Night upsets Keeper of Secrets in the james bond.
(i have two marathoners of my own who are cracking the mid-80s.  I don’t know if it’s better to have hope or to have no hope.  Either way, i feel the creeping ineptitude of the season)

Ok, there’s more but i’m bored.  G1’s on friday: DOCTOR WHO! CALUMET! It’s the Long Island Handicap: THE WAR BY THE SHORE!
Hi, memento mori
Three millionaires fight in ireland.  Is alcohol involved?
The St. Leger isn’t exactly star-studded
Robert Forston’s Yadi preps for the SC

Laura pick a few races you’re interested in this week.  If they exist.

Author: Scott » Published On: November 3rd, 2016 » Filed In: podcast » Comments: (1)


Scott, Ashley, and Nena discuss Coleman Hell’s big win in Arlington, Heart of the Storm’s dubious ‘record’, and break down more than 20 grade 1 races for Friday. Scott deals with self-inflicted technical issues, as he was following Game 7 of the World Series through his cheap internet stream. The ladies make fun of him, because they are cruel.


Yes, it’s time for Hold All Tickets, the weekly enema we give the SIM
I’m Scott Eiland, your internet pal. hall of famer.  Today we answer the question, “is the game passing me by and am i facing a slow, steady decline, like someone who just acquired dementia, or bought stock in zima and Crystal Pepsi (I actually LIKE Crystal Pepsi, and I LOATHE Pepsi)

Introducing the cohosts, nena and ashley.

Well, remember that day i was super happy and optimistic about my year? THAT IS NOT TODAY.  I’m afraid to acquire a big time horse now, because i’m fairly certain i’m going to foul it up.  

Reminds me of the Winnebago Man videos.

Let’s be positive

We should probably talk about HOTS breaking the all time earnings record, huh? NOPE. That’s like rewarding Barry Bonds for his achievements. Is it even a record if you have to keep sponsoring million dollar races to reach it?

Friendly reminder that there are only, what, 5 weeks and 2 days to breed foals!

Week 11:

While Scott is having a pity party for 1, let’s talk about the 28 G1 races this week, Friday!
I’m not having a pity party i am having a lull and my ass is tired of being kicked. Sydney Trophy Caulfield Derby Northern Australian Oaks London Futurity London Debutante James Bond Memorial Stakes Pasquale Memorial Stakes Rosita Cup King K (not typing it out) Jewel Kenyan Oaks Queen’s Cup The Inglemark Stakes (sponsored $500k) Worldwide Stakes Inspired Fox Stakes Tasman Classic Oceanside Futurity Oceanside Debutante (4 horses) Oceanside Classic Oceanside Oaks Oceanside Derby Oceanside Dash Black Ironwood Classic Hitch A Ride Sprint (4 horses) Dancer Stakes Manistique Stakes MIDSUMMER OAKS MIDSUMMER DERBY

Author: Scott » Published On: October 26th, 2016 » Filed In: podcast » Comments: (1)


Scott and Ashley celebrate the best of Week 10 Router day, discuss the TBS auction, theme park, and this Friday’s most interesting Grade 1s.

Week 11

It’s Scott’s wedding anniversary.  He has spent the entire day singing dirges while wearing black.
The mr awesome movement was accused by a prominent asshole that it was “really stupid” and “drawing xpac heat”
(scott defines xpac heat, discussing former wwe wrestler/scott friend Sean Waltman.)

Therefore, to be fair to the public, I will answer to any of the following:

Scotty (if you’re my mom, a friend, or a chick)
Mr. Scott Eiland
Mr. Scott Eiland, First ballot Hall of Famer
Louisville Derby Winner Scott Eiland
Mister Awesome
Mister Something
Mr. Awesome-Thing

Ashley is a clutz. She is taking only light pain meds to podcast.

Week ten routers!  Scott celebrates the discovery of Agnew (President Reagan’s brother) who was a claimer gallop who clearly improved.

Open question: Who is your personal favorite router, and do you think he’ll be in the derby/bunbury/big stakes races?  How about fillies?  ASK MR SOMETHING.

Scott has a monologue on how AMAZING Theme Park is… he talks about the amazing turf miler filly! (Note: She’s the highest ranked 3yo of EITHER gender on either surface by points beating dirty triple crowny types, only TBS to make more monies than her won TC races)

What I like about the Trial by Summer – you can redefine your year in one purchase

What I hate about the Trial by Summer – massive inflation caused by proxy bidding, combining with the exchange to make it a farce.

Heres the bottom line: with prices as crazy as they are, people will find themselves throwing good money after bad at some point…that’s my fear.  My HOPE is people get a fucking clue and bring prices back in line.   I didn’t pull the trigger on the Selfies foal i was bidding on, because i just couldn’t justify going higher.  I wonder how many people are going to continue firing money at the TBS when the average purchase price is an impossible 3+ million.  NO WAY they all make that much, not even close.
(Ashy picks good news or bad news first) Only good news allowed

OK, the races we like this week: laura threw a monster filly in here to give me and Love is Your Name an ulcer irish oaks – fucking terrible weather throws this one into the “who the fuck knows” category Jump into the Fog – Eric has a router can King George win the King George?   – two turf mile races for ashley to squee
The Spa (Saratoga Springs) has a ton of G1s in the driving rain.  Thanks, Mother Nature. Rubberpony

Author: Scott » Published On: October 19th, 2016 » Filed In: podcast » Comments: (0)

Scott and Ashley discuss the Mr. Awesome movement, Ask Mr. Awesome, Ask the Broads, Ashwinder, Heart of the Storm, Week 10 Grade 1s, and more! Have a listen, have-a-listeners!

Show notes
Show Notes – 10/18/2016 9pm eastern (8 pm nena time) (9pm ashy time) (five minutes before my dad calls)

Ashwinder takes the Long Island Classic, besting Captain My Captain and Gryffindor.  Mohawk finishes sixth.  Of course.

Eastern Westside wins the Louisville Classic.  The last place finisher ran an 88.  Fire him.

Queens Derby results:

(ladies fill in other stuff here.) (did any of us score in the belmont?)

Grade 1s:

Are you FUCKING kidding me dan

Stewbreds vs. Harden Your Heart
Wait, there’s a G1 in CYPRUS?
NJ turf route madness
People are scared shitless of Theme Park
Iron Spirit attempts to cockblock Skippy
Pete vs. Danny.  I pick Pete.
That random dirt mile race in washington
And the fillies
Seriously, folks, get involved with turf routing

Author: Scott » Published On: October 15th, 2016 » Filed In: podcast, Self-Therapy » Comments: (0)

OK, so it’s only 22 minutes or so. Ever wondered what Em thinks of Heart of the Storm still in training? Ashwinder’s Long Island Classic win? This and much more is discussed here in a one-on-one impromptu interview with the Steward…and Scott

Author: Scott » Published On: October 11th, 2016 » Filed In: podcast » Comments: (0)


Scott, Nena, and a returning Ashley discuss Ashley sweeping the Irish Guineas, the upcoming Long Island Classic, the new “Awesome” introduction, and 17 Grade 1 races coming up

FULL Long Island Classic preview, including Mohawk’s 50:1 shot. NOBODY BELIEVES IN ME.

The results of the Week 6 handicapping challenge. We SUCK.

Ashley won both Irish Guineas, that’s not an easy thing to do. Thanks for jinxing Dandy Lion and Invocation!

17 G1s for friday
There are way more than those 5 races, Scott melbourne oaks featuring april loves andy guitar stakes ts caulfield derby london oaks London Daahhhhrby Tribeca Stakes LI Acorn Louisville Classic Silver Sword Stakes <~ wow that field Silver Spear Stakes Rambunctious Too Stakes Galileo Cup… sponsored for Reddington La Oceanside Stakes Esteemed Stakes Oceanside Ladies Mile Cape Town Derby